Today I found out that my IVF didn’t work. We had one embryo that was genetically normal based on pre-implantation genetic screening. A little girl. My uterus was perfect. My embryo was hatching after the thaw and ready to implant. The timing was perfect based on ERA testing. My progesterone and estrogen were perfect. We had a 80% chance for success according to my RE. But it didn’t work. My nurse couldn’t even give me a reason. When she called me I heard it in her voice before she even gave me the news, and I held my breath – I couldn’t believe this was happening. “I’m sorry”, she said , “both tests were negative.” I’m struggling to make sense of this. I’m struggling to not loose faith in the divine, my spirit guides, my angles. Are they really there? Were they listening to my prayers every day? Why did this happen? It was so hard for me to create just this one healthy embryo. Now we are back at square one. And I’m 40. I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to make another healthy embryo. My heart breaks for this little girl that will never be.