Tonight is trigger night. It’s been a great stimulation cycle so far. I have 12 large follicles and some smaller ones, which may not catch up. Even my left ovary has decided to play ball this round, producing a whopping 5 large follicles – the most I’ve ever gotten on that side was 3. This is the most follicles I’ve gone into retrieval with so I’m pretty excited.  Somehow I’m excited despite the repeated failures and disappointments. Every time I think I’m not going to find hope again, and then somehow I do. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not, as I would prefer to stay cautiously optimistic. But here I am, thinking this will be the one.

I had a neupogen wash for the first time today after my ultrasound check. Neupogen is a drug that stimulates the growth of white blood cells and is typically used during cancer treatments. A neupogen wash during IVF is an off label use where they insert the liquid into the uterus through a catheter. The procedure felt like getting an intrauterine insemination (IUI). Quick, easy, and pretty much painless for me. My RE, who loves his analogies, explained that the embryo is like a fuzzy tennis ball and the receptors that cover the uterus are like little strips of Velcro. The tennis ball has to hit a Velcro strip to implant. A neupogen wash basically makes the Velcro strips stickier with a longer reach – fuzzier Velcro. So the idea is that neupogen can help the embryo attach better to a receptor site to implant. He calls it “embryo Velcro” – not to be confused with “embryo glue” which is something different.

My egg retrieval will be Wednesday at 8:30 AM. I’m ready to get this show on the road!

Last night while taking my meds I though, “This may be my last menopur shot.” It was a strange thought. On the one hand comforting, as I envisioned this cycle finally bringing me my baby. But on the other hand it was sobering. If this cycle fails, I’m not sure that I will do another round of IVF. It may be the end of my road. Two very different thoughts. Two very different feelings. One thing is for certain – I won’t miss the menopur burn.